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I would address to the parent that it is the school policy that certain foods are not allowed in the school because some children, in or outside their child's room, are allergic and could have a reaction. I am full of ideas, so I would gladly suggest other options such as cupcakes or sugar cookies. A handbook would be readily available.
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Being the kind person that I am, I would be quick to let the person have the desired day off. However, it would not be fair to everyone else, so I would set up a meeting and let everyone decide if it would be okay with them. After all, they would want the same respect if it were their situation.
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I would approach this person when no children are around. I would suggest working together as a "team" next time and tell her/him that i'm glad they liked my ideas.
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The father has every right to be upset. I would let him know that I am sorry this incident occurred and I would like to schedule a meeting with the family to discuss what happened. I would also explain to the little girl that anytime something like this happens, she must always tell an adult. If I had known about this incident, I would have handled the situation much better.
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